- I haven't journaled or blogged in 4 years; bare with me.
- I have just been "diagnosed" with a recurring episode of major depressive disorder (clinical depression) and high anxiety. I have not seen a therapist in my life. My first therapy session is in 2 days, and I'm not sure if I am feeling relieved to finally get to go to therapy, or not. I WAS excited, but am now feeling more apprehensive.
- My mind is being melted with this #MeToo hashtag.
This is very hard for me to write. I'm so happy others are stepping forward (sooo many others) to speak out against sexual assault. It shows that each person is not alone by any means. But this is coming at a time, for me, where I am really struggling with the fact that I was raped. Click here for my testimony.
Not having ANYONE to turn to 17 years ago--because nobody knew-- I think I've finally reached my threshold of "bottled-up emotion and hurt". I thought I had it under perfect control for at least the last 5 years or so. I thought I had just finally reached a point where it was a non-issue and I could finally put it behind me. I think a trigger may have happened, recently, that I was not aware of.
Now I'm 4 months postpartum, have two kids, and have become a stay at home mom/wife who has become increasingly more of a recluse over the past few years. Now that I look back, I thought I was doing well on the outside... and I was... but I hadn't dealt with the past. I urge you to deal with the past before it comes for you again. For now I have oils and Jesus to help. Thank you, Lord. I want to be in the right state of mind to continue being a good mommy and wife.
Maybe more blogging to come... I'm sure I'll be told to journal.
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